She Speaks Scholarship Contest

“Those of you interested in the She Speaks scholarship be sure to write a post on your blog this weekend about why you want to attend, what you feel called to do, or a story of what is drawing you to attend this speakers, writers and leadership training.” Lysa Terkeurst, President Proverbs 31 Ministries

Hey good people!  I know I’ve been out of pocket for a minute, and I so apologize for that.  Believe it or not I’ve really missed this writing.  However, there’ve been a few unexpected changes in my life since my last post, and I’m still trying to figure out how to balance it all.  When I read the words above, I thought, “Well I guess this is my invitation to ease back into at least one of the things I love to do, and that’s writing.”

I desire to be a great writer one day.  In addition to wanting to write and to publish and to write some more, I want to speak.  Can you believe it?  Not many people truly “want” to speak.  To be perfectly honest, using the phrase “want to” in the same sentence with the word “speak” is probably a bit of a stretch for me, as well.  I don’t know if my desire is as much a want as it is a simple answer of “yes” to God and an act of obedience.  It’s my attempt to fall in line, although somewhat reluctantly, to His pre-ordained plan for my life.

You see if I had it my way, I’d never speak beyond a small group of a few smiling faces (smiling, FAMILIAR faces, preferably, lol…).  I mean let’s face it; socializing is far less intense and intimidating than leading.  Chatting it up with 2 or 3 girlfriends (or even strangers, for that matter), in my mind, is simply socializing.   Anything beyond that turns into a responsibility I just haven’t felt like I was good enough to have (I can thank the minister from this morning for squashing that myth!).  I’m finding this to be one of the many areas where my thoughts are simply not God’s, as His word makes clear in Isaiah 55:8.

As most of you know, my life’s passions are music, writing, the Word of God and Women’s ministry.  In 2008, I started a small group women’s ministry and led a group of 6 women (4 in person, and 2 participated remotely) through a Biblically-based study that I wrote.  We met once a month.  I can honestly say I’ve never experienced more joy in my life than I did for the nine months that we studied and fellowshipped together.  I had finally found my “place”, that thing God created me to do, and it was the sweetest time of my life.  My goal is to get back there and to stay there until the Lord moves me on to the next assignment.

I could go on for days about what moves me to minister to women.  I’ll never forget sharing a story from my life with a coworker some years ago.  I was so elated about one of the countless lessons God had taught me, so naturally, I had to find another young woman to share it with.  She listened intently, but I could see the struggle in her eyes as she desperately tried to make sense of it all.  It was too much for her to digest, at the time, and with no one else around I’m sure it felt like she was being poured on.  Noting the deer caught in headlights look in the eyes of my “audience”, I fast forwarded to the point and ended the story.  I’m sure she was quite relieved. 🙂

I vividly recall walking back to my desk, sitting down, and whispering a prayer to the Lord, asking Him to give me a platform. For it was at that moment that I recognized that the weight of my passion for God’s divine destiny for women was becoming far too heavy to sit on one woman at a time.  I wanted to do more.  I wanted to share with more women.  I wanted to see more women become who God created them to be.  I wanted to become who He created me to be!

This assignment is what is drawing me to attend this year’s She Speaks Conference in North Carolina.  She Speaks is a conference specifically focused on training Writers, Speakers, and Women’s Ministry leaders (sounds just like me, huh? Lol..).  I learned about Lysa Terkeurst, She Speaks and Proverbs 31 Ministries a few years ago when I first began exploring the world of women’s ministry.  Since at least 2006, if not earlier, I’ve wanted to attend the conference, but for one reason or another I’ve been unable to do so.  I’m hoping that maybe, just maybe, this year is God’s perfect timing for me.  This post is, again, my “yes” to God, my act of obedience and submission to His assignment for me.  At the end of the day, not my will, but His perfect will be done.  No matter what, whether I’m selected to attend She Speaks or not, I will continue to move forward.  I will speak.


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