She Speaks Scholarship Contest – Round II

Hi, ladies!  Well, just as I was attempting to get comfy with the idea that I’ll miss the She Speaks Conference YET AGAIN, another opportunity to win a scholarship has presented itself.  This time the scholarship is specifically for Speakers or Aspiring speakers (the latter applying to me) who have not previously attended the conference (also applies to moi).  Sounds like a match, wouldn’t you agree?

Anyway, I thought I’d share with you all the comment I posted as my entry to the contest.  WRITE so that I might get a chance to SPEAK! lol…Yep!  All I had to do to enter was post a comment….well post a comment on about TWENTY-SIX different blogs.  Praise God, the contest does allow you to post the same comment to each blog. Since the winner will be a random selection obviously the more blogs I post on the better my chances of winning.  Logically this makes sense, but I know that God has already decided whether or not I’ll attend the conference this year – contest scholarship or no contest scholarship.  Anyway, check out my “comment” below, and we’ll chat again soon.

As I type this comment, I’m full of pain and sadness for a myriad of reasons.  It appears the Lord is testing me or training me in the areas of loss and long suffering. Testing or training…. Right now I don’t know that one is any better than the other.

I know what the words of Galatians 6:9 read, and I also know, without a doubt, that I’m so close to fainting.

I’m the last person who would ever voluntarily want to speak, but I felt the call to speak to women many years ago. My story, my path toward speaking has been much like yours, Renee. I wrote my first Bible study and led a small group of women through it back in 2008/2009. Looking back, I’ve never been happier than I was during the time I did this.

Just days ago I sat with a friend who was preparing to bury her father. She was a member of that small group in 08. She told me I have no idea how much she talks about and references our nine months together. Listening to her speak of how God used me (a flawed leader and wannabe speaker) and the lessons I penned out of the depths of my own life to impact her life even during this time of loss and pain somehow refueled my desire to speak, teach, and lead women. Somehow…in the midst of my own pain the ministry of my heart took on a face. It became real.

I’ve entered a previous scholarship contest for this conference. When I didn’t make the winners circle I chalked it up as another loss and God moving me away from my quest for validation. I’ve wanted to attend the conference for at least the past 6 or 7 years. At the end of the day, I believe I’m just thirsty to be around other women who share my passion for pouring into the lives of our sisters. I saw the announcement for the scholarship for writers, and although writing is a large part of my calling, today out of the abundance of my heart my mouth wants to speak.

I realize the winner will be randomly chosen, but I know God already knows the outcome. Maybe it truly isn’t for me to attend this year, but I won’t stop until the conference doors open and I do or do not walk through. Then and only then will I know God’s perfect will. In the meantime, I’ll continue striving to speak.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Aleata G. Dawkins
    Apr 22, 2010 @ 08:26:24

    Sending my blessing and you continue to go after what God has placed in your heart. Your words inspire me!

    Reply

  2. Sharon
    Apr 25, 2010 @ 20:22:32

    I’m proud of you and am praying for you. He sees your heart and diligence. His plan for you cannot be thwarted.

    Reply

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