A Life Changing Understanding

Wisdom [is] the principal thing; [Therefore] get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding. – Proverbs 4:7 NKJV

Over the weekend, while doing some online research, I made a discovery that I am already sensing had an immediate impact on my life.

I was working on a chapter (for the book I am FINALLY writing) where I share about a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship I was in for approximately 7 years, beginning in college.  I googled the phrase “types of abuse” and stumbled across a document entitled “Impact of Verbal and Emotional Abuse”.  I was certainly not prepared for what I would read.

“People often minimize the impact that a verbal abuse has on a person’s overall well being and happiness. A woman who is experiencing verbal and emotional abuse might feel the following emotions:”

  • A distrust of her spontaneity
  • A loss of enthusiasm
  • An uncertainty about how she is coming across
  • A concern that something is wrong with her
  • An inclination to reviewing incidents with the hopes of determining what went wrong
  • A loss of self-confidence
  • A growing self doubt
  • An internalized “critical voice”
  • A concern that she isn’t happier and ought to be
  • An anxiety or fear of being crazy
  • A sense that time is passing and she’s missing something
  • A desire not to be the way she is- “too sensitive,” etc
  • A hesitancy to accept her perceptions
  • A reluctance to come to conclusions
  • A desire to escape or run away
  • A tendency to live in the future, e.g. “everything will be great when/after…”
  • A distrust of future relationships


Imagine my initial sadness to find that nearly a decade after God saved me from myself and delivered me from this volatile relationship that was ripe with negative potential, I have still been living under the impact of the abuse.  Of the 17 items listed above, I can relate to every single one of them.  The effects have been paralyzing.  *SIGH*  I’m sure that if I could turn red, my face would have adopted a nice hue of BEET!

Still, after reading the document, an unexpected peace began to blanket me.  Then I began to wonder.  “Where is this peace coming from?”  My guess is it comes from the fact that now I have an answer, an answer I wasn’t even seeking, but an answer God knew I needed.  He led me to understanding, and I could not be happier.

Happy [is] the man [who] finds wisdom, And the man [who] gains understanding; – Proverbs 3:13 NKJV

I applied my heart to know, To search and seek out wisdom and the reason [of things], To know the wickedness of folly, Even of foolishness [and] madness.Ecclesiastes 7:25 NKJV

It seems that as I seek out wisdom, the Lord honors my search and gives me understanding, as well.

I believe this simple document provided me with a life changing understanding.  I am now equipped with knowledge and empowered to say, “No more!” to the impact of this decade old abuse on my life.  Authentic, complete healing, that I didn’t even realize I needed, can now commence.  And to that I say, “Welcome!”

For me, the neatest part of it all is realizing that I opened the door to all of this by being obedient and walking out at least one of the Lord’s assignments for my life, writing my book.  I had to giggle as I thought, “Lord, is this why You’ve been bugging me about this book?”   LOL…

Now to make sure that credit is given where it’s due, click here to be taken directly to a copy of the document mentioned above.  You may want to use it with your women’s group, share it with a girlfriend, or keep it for yourself.  Click here to be taken directly to the Center For Relationship Abuse website.  The site is the online home for an organization out of California.  It contains a lot of valuable information regarding physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, economic abuse, and academic abuse.

Lastly, as God teaches me and gives me new revelation I immediately think of and want to share it with you, my sisters.  Stumbling onto this information this weekend was like receiving a surprise invitation to a freedom party.  It’s my prayer that, from reading this post, maybe one of you will receive your invitation to the party, as well.  RSVP immediately, and let the healing begin.

Bye for now… 🙂


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Sharon
    May 17, 2010 @ 15:30:53

    There’s so much more that is gained through obedience than we can see with our natural eye. Our Father is amazing, and soooo faithful. Thanks for sharing this, Moni!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: