Something is Just Not Write

I’ve been dry.  Well, not me literally, but my pen’s been dry.  It’s as if my sweet thing has lost its “swagger”.  Is that how you use that word?  LOL… Help me, Lord, because I have no idea!  I’m sure I’m way too old to be trying to use that word anyway. 🙂

*Sigh…*

It’s the middle of March, and my beautiful blog space is weeping from the sting of neglect.  Sadly, I’ve made an appearance only twice this year.  Yes, my friends, my pen has been dry.  Something is just not write (yes, I meant “write”), and now I’m a little scared.  The message is still alive inside me.  I feel it wrestling for freedom.  Yet, it seems my words have been taken hostage, being held for an unknown ransom amount.

So what brings me here today?  Some fear that time is running out…  Some desperation to get back on my writing track…  A sanctified, yet swift, kick in the proverbial rear…  And two simple words – She Speaks

I’m sure at least one of you recalls my zealous attempts, last year, to win a scholarship to the She Speaks Conference.  The annual conference is hosted by Lysa Terkeurst and Proverbs 31 Ministries in Concord, North Carolina.  Well, it’s She Speaks time again, and I would love to win one of the two Cecil Murphy scholarships that will be given away on Monday.

The conference includes three tracks that only send a girl like me into tilt-a-whirl confusion.  The tracks are Speaking (She Speaks, speaking, get it?  Never mind….), Writing and Women’s Ministry.  Yep, my friends, ALL THREE!  Click here to check it out for yourself.

For those of you who know anything about me, I’m sure you understand at which door confusion entered.  Choosing between a speaking track and a writing track would be challenging enough, but no!  Lysa Terkeurst and her Proverbs 31 team had to go and throw in a Women’s ministry track, too.  Now God isn’t the author of confusion, so why in Jesus’ name would they do that to me???  LOL….

My writing has been stagnant for a few reasons:

1.  I’m just not always the best manager of my time.  I have it.  I counted, and all 24 hours are there.  But I’ve found that I often fail to give an assignment to every minute of my day, and I MUST get better.

2.  My life in 2010 and my life in 2011 are truly like night and day.  Joy came in the morning of 2011, and it’s been pretty busy ever since.  I have enough to do, plus my share of sweet distractions, and again, time slips away.

3.  Not managing my time well means not spending enough time in my Father’s word.  I recognize the thirst, and I’m working to quench it.

4.  The most profound reason of all, though, is that I have a message.  I have a message and a challenge from on High regarding this blog space and my writing in general.  I know my message, but I’m nervous about the challenge to transparently deliver that message.  This has undoubtedly been the biggest ink blotter of all!

I don’t have a dramatic reason for hoping to be chosen for one of the scholarships.  My wanting to attend She Speaks since 2004 probably pales in comparison to stories far more compelling.  I am simply a woman hanging onto her 30s by a thread and nervous that I’m missing my moment.  The Lord reassures me of His call each time I listen to the heart of or have an opportunity to encourage one of God’s daughters.  I see the pain.  I know the pain.  I’ve found the freedom, and I want to share.  I realize I need a jump start, and I simply believe She Speaks is just the voltage I need.  And yes….since I can’t figure out how to split myself in 3 (and believe me I’ve really been trying to figure it out), if awarded one of the scholarships, I would select the track that makes something write again. 🙂

Wise, Virtuous, Valuable,

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11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kimberly
    Mar 11, 2011 @ 23:57:43

    Hi! I came across your blog via Lysa’s linky! I do hope and pray you get the opportunity to attend She Speaks in July!! I love the way you describe your age in your About Me page! Girl, I’m in the same boat!!! Except I have to accept the inevitable…by the time She Speaks rolls around I will have said goodbye to my 30s. Oh, well…I say that’s when my life will “REALLY” begin, lol! Anyway, blessings to you, and I pray to see you in July!

    Reply

    • Monica P. Watkins
      Mar 12, 2011 @ 00:19:27

      Awww, thank you Kimberly! You’re a year up on me! I have ONE more year before my 30s take flight! lol… Praising the Lord for each and every day, though! So will you be attending She Speaks this year? Have you attended before? I am MOST INTENT on getting there this year. Hope to see you in July, as well! It seems we’re both working towards publishing. We have to remain diligent. BTW, I LOVE your blog title. I’ll be sure to stop by and visit again.

      Reply

      • Kimberly
        Mar 13, 2011 @ 18:10:34

        Yes, I will be there! I have already registered and am SO excited. I’ve never been. A year ago at this time I never even heard of it! I’m just trusting God to lead my every step, and it looks like He is leading me down a path towards publication. I can’t say that it is something I’ve always wanted to do (I’m a musician by training and profession, not hardly a writer!) but lately God has burned this vision in my heart and keeps confirming it over and over. So it will be very interesting to see where God leads! I do hope to meet you in July, and trust God to make the way for you to attend!!

        Blessings! ~Kimberly

        P.S. Thanks for stopping by my blog! Hope you’ll visit again soon!

  2. jammin365
    Mar 12, 2011 @ 06:40:13

    Nicely written

    Reply

  3. Jackie
    Mar 12, 2011 @ 12:49:50

    Love it Monica! I appreciate your honesty and you know I can definitely relate!

    Reply

  4. Wanda
    Mar 13, 2011 @ 17:23:21

    Hi Monica, good to read a post from you. Praying that you’ll find the balance between those sweet distractions and time to pen your God-given message. Best wishes on winning a scholarship.

    Reply

    • Monica P. Watkins
      Mar 13, 2011 @ 17:50:59

      Thank you for your continued support. Your prayers for balance and BOLDNESS are very much appreciated. 🙂

      Reply

  5. Deirdra Coppel
    Mar 25, 2011 @ 14:16:09

    I love your site and as I browsed your blog I decided to award you the Inspiring Blog Award.

    Go to http://astorybookworld.blogspot.com/p/awards.html and pick up your award.
    ~Deirdra

    Reply

    • Monica P. Watkins
      Mar 25, 2011 @ 22:06:58

      Thank you, Deidra, and thank you for visiting my little space. I’m very honored by the award!

      Reply

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