I am hanging out right now. I’ve taken a few days off to relax, granting myself a break from the predictable pace of my daily existence. This mental break is more strategically positioned than I can even take credit for. When I return to life as I know it, I have quite a task waiting for me. I have to begin traveling the pages of my old journals. “Why,” you ask. It’s simple. A large portion of the “research” for the book I’m writing will come from those pages.
I LOVE journals. My family and friends know they can never go wrong buying me a beautiful new journal, and Lord knows I could never describe to you the rush of excitement that overtakes me when I receive or purchase a new journal. I have them in all shapes, sizes, styles and colors. I’ve spent a little or I’ve spent a lot on them. I have been writing in journals for as long as I can remember. When some think about journals, they think about a bound book with lined pages wherein one chronicles her life’s deepest secrets. I guess that’s one way to look at them, but I like to think the position of my journals carries quite a bit more prestige than simply secret keepers. As a matter of fact, many have heard me say that my love for journal writing is one of God’s many gifts to me, a gift that, at one time in my life, probably saved my life. Simply put, my journals are an extension of me. Literally….
Many, many years ago, before I was old enough to comprehend the weight of my words, I used to always say that one day I would publish a book using stories from the pages of my journals. Little did I know the magnitude of ups and downs, highs and lows, and varied lessons of epic proportions that would over time line the pages of those journals. I must admit that now I’m a little nervous, as I contemplate the stories that await me on those pages, stories that represent a past – past successes, past failures, past relationships, past mistakes – I buried long ago.
Am I ready? I think so. I’ll know for sure in a few days. The things I know for sure today are these:
1. As I’m placing fluorescent tabs on the pages of my past, I’m sure I will ponder, with great humility and thankfulness, the woman I used to be.
2. I’m certain I’ll, also, consider all of the women out there who are just like the me I used to be – women searching for answers, believing there’s more to this life, fighting desperately to find it.
3. No doubt, I’ll be reminded of the wisdom I greatly wished I had many years ago, and I’ll pray that maybe some young woman will lift the wisdom learned from the history on those pages and be able to apply it to her own life in a way that sets her on a path toward the same love, identity and freedom I found in my relationship with the One who was always with me throughout every page I will read, even when I didn’t realize He was there – Jesus Christ.
No doubt it’s going to be quite a journey. And here is where my journey will begin:
I’m going to resume enjoying my little break now. Needless to say, after it’s over, I have my work cut out for me. Rest assured I’ll keep you posted on how it’s going AND share a tidbit or two of the findings therein. 🙂 Until next time…
Wise, Virtuous, Valuable,