The Yellow Dress

When I was a young girl, my favorite color was yellow.  I remember a favorite Easter dress my mother made by her own hands.  It was yellow and white.  I always said that yellow could brighten up any day.  It was reinforcement on a sunny day and became my happy sunshine stand-in whenever the sky’s big light decided to take a break.  I enjoyed wearing yellow mostly on cloudy days.

When I was in college I had a yellow outfit that I absolutely adored!  It was a solid yellow coordinate set – a button down, short-sleeved blouse with full length, wide-legged pants – made of the comfortable, soft rayon fabric that was popular back then.  Girls, it was bright yellow, and I loved it.  For some reason I felt my best and had an extra dose of happy when I wore that outfit.  It complemented my slim college girl figure well and just seemed to add a touch of lemon zest, if you will!

Sometime during the latter days of this year’s winter season (the time when clothing stores are debuting the must have fashions for spring), I strolled into a local T.J. Maxx store with one of my girlfriends.  Almost as soon as I landed on the inside of the automatic doors, there it was.  A BEAUTIFUL yellow, Calvin Klein dress, welcomed me into the store with a great BIG lemony grin!  Ladies, I tell you, my heart skipped not one but a few beats as I walked over to run my fingers across the fabric, check the price of course, and soak up some its sun shiny goodness.

“I have to try this on,” I told my friend.  I searched for my size.  YES!  It was there.  I grabbed it and raced to the fitting room.  I wrestled my way out of my warm winter clothing, exchanged them for this vision of spring loveliness, and turned to face the finished product in the mirror.

“Ahhhhh,” I sighed.

The sight added small puddles to my eyes as immediately my mind flashed back to a vision of me in my favorite yellow outfit, standing outside my college residence hall.  A picture of purity and innocence, there I stood, talking to a young man.  That young man would later receive that innocence and virtue without hesitation.  I offered out of ignorance, not understanding that at that moment I was giving the essence of who I was created to be, a “me” I had barely come to know to a “him” who knew just as little or less of himself.

From there, the days of my life began to unravel.  I spent 7 years on a tumultuous roller coaster of verbal, mental, and property abuse that was escalating to dangerous new heights by the moment.  The relationship exploited my lack of wisdom, mocked my royal standing, ballooned my college figure and whittled me down to no more than a sad existence of secret shame.

Now, many years later, there I stood in a three-way mirror with a vision of yellow beauty staring back at me.  Her figure was the closest to her college days than it’s ever been, yet just far enough away to carry the curves of the wisdom, virtue, and value she never knew was her inheritance back in those days.  On this day, my friends, she was wearing a yellow dress.  No pants!  This dress was reminiscent of the girl she was before and celebration of the girl she is today!

Yes, I bought the yellow dress!

Wise, Virtuous, Valuable,


10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Wanda
    Apr 30, 2011 @ 17:08:50

    Oh Monica, I read this with tears in my eyes. You told your story with beauty and grace. And I happen to love yellow houses for some reason.


    • Monica P. Watkins
      May 02, 2011 @ 14:18:33

      Wanda, this was truly a post written from the deep parts of me. These are the wilderness journeys toward freedom I want to share more often.


  2. Elizabeth Mueller
    May 01, 2011 @ 22:00:45

    Here’s to making it this far, congratulations! I have an award for you!!


  3. Arlee Bird
    May 02, 2011 @ 17:48:23

    I came back to read this from your Reflections post. A bittersweet tale–it’s good to have recaptured that moment and that old self with a piece of clothing.
    This was beautifully told.

    Tossing It Out


  4. Sandra W. Thompson
    Aug 24, 2011 @ 22:14:15

    Monia, I love, love your story, God took what seem like a mess up life to you and turn it into a message. We all have a story waiting to be told, that will encourage someone else.
    Thank you for sharing yours

    I love you Girl


    • Monica P. Watkins
      Aug 31, 2011 @ 19:55:57

      Thank you SO MUCH Sandra! I’m so blessed that we are family. I always pray the Lord will use my story to bless the lives of other women and bring Him glory. Thank you for the encouragement! I love you, too!


  5. Michele Caséca
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 22:21:21

    I’m so proud to be your friend!
    I created a blog few weeks ago. Please, dropp by and take a look, AND leave a comment! I put your blog in my blog list!

    Miss you sweet friend!
    You are a blessing to me
    Love you,

    Michele Caséca


    • Monica P. Watkins
      Aug 31, 2011 @ 19:50:54

      Thank you Michele! I love the way the Lord connected us. I will definitely visit your blog. Look for me in the comments, my friend!


      • Michele Caséca
        Sep 08, 2011 @ 17:29:10

        Visit my blog and make a comment… I’m giving away a wedding invitation for my beautiful wedding! Hhahha Just kidding…. it’s not the way it works!

        You will get one because you are my precious friend! Please, e-mail me your address. It won’t be soon. Probably only around late october will be arriving at your address!

        I love you girl! I love even more our God, who connected us so beautifully!

        Mi Caséca

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