M is for Marriage

I believe in marriage.

There! I said it! I believe in marriage as God originally designed – one man, one woman, till death. I believe that healthy families are built on the foundation of healthy marriages. These healthy families then become the pillars of healthy communities. The payoff is great and potentially endless. Healthy marriages, healthy families, healthy communities – this must mean that there are some healthy individuals in the mix somewhere. Wouldn’t you agree?

As an unmarried woman in my latEST (and I do mean as late as they can get) thirties, I used to be afraid to talk about my reverence for matrimony outside my circle of close friends, family, or people who knew a little more about me than just my name. Why? Well, let’s face it. Unfortunately, the first assumption people have when they hear a single woman talk too much about marriage is certainly not that she’s an advocate or supporter who may see a bigger picture. Instead the label applied to her is something closer to, oh let’s say, DESPERATE. You’re laughing because if you’re an unmarried woman (especially if you’re in your latER or latEST thirties, yourself), you KNOW I’m telling the truth.

Well, at Completely You, I plan to do a lot of talking about marriage, because it’s my blog and I can talk about marriage if I want to (That doesn’t sing quite as well as the “It’s my party…” song, but you get the idea).

There are a gazillion reasons why a woman may want to be married. Sure, there are some women whose starry eyes can’t see beyond some bling to blind their girlfriends and their dream of a wedding of Kardashian caliber. Others are simply afraid to be alone. Most people – men and women – would prefer not to travel life’s journey alone. I, too, am one of the, but marriage always meant a little something extra to me.

These days my heart grieves as I watch one marriage after another disintegrate; for I know that it’s only by God’s grace that I am not included in that number. I’ve personally spoken to a number of women who have walked the path of a broken marriage. As they adjust their rear view mirrors to take a look back, they each can see and admit they had no idea who they were (their identity, who God created them to be) before they said “I do”. No one told them it was important.

I can’t say that anyone told me either, and trials and errors led to a trail of unhealthy relationships. So, I began to wonder. If you don’t know who you are, how will you know you’re saying “yes” to the right person, to God’s best for you? As I reviewed my relational track record it all became clear. The mistakes I made were evidence that there was no way I could know who was good for me until I had a clear understanding of who I was created to be. Until then, the power and influence of the healthy marriage I so reverenced would continue to elude me and another potential relational disaster would be on the prowl.

I must stop here, even though I know this post is incomplete. I guess that means there will be more to come on this subject. In the meantime, here are a few questions for my unmarried girlfriends out there:

What do you believe about marriage? You don’t have to tell me, but think about it.

Do you know enough about the woman God created you to be to recognize the man He created for you?

What kind of relationship (if any) are you in now?  Is it one that reflects a complete you or an incomplete you?

Completely ME,



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Brittany
    Oct 07, 2011 @ 16:51:05

    I love your honesty about all of this! Great post, Monica!


    • Monica P. Watkins
      Oct 11, 2011 @ 17:19:45

      Brittany, thank you so much for your comment! I hope to discuss this topic more in the future, especially the part about knowing yourself first. It’s so important. I hope you’ll come back to join the discussion.


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